tic tic tick

My girls have been gone over two weeks now, which means I still have a ways to go til they come home. Its been really different not having their shows on tv, not picking meals catered to them, having grown up foods more often, being able to go at a moments notice, seeing real movies at the theater, having no routine, just not having much to consider. Most of all I miss their voices, in their playroom, in the yard, singing in the car..just like I knew I would...I miss Lili's hundred hugs a day, and making her happy. I miss having my little helper and Mitch's little mini-me, Ari.
Mitch has loved having this time alone and keeps doing his best to make the most of it, although we keep feeling like we could be doing more. Yesterday I asked him if this time would be something he would like to look forward to every year or would rather have us having a baby (since he still keeps bringing that up). I wondered if he had thought about that since he keeps talking about how great this is...but he still said he'd rather have baby....sigh

I think if I could I be guaranteed it be a boy, maybe that would convince me...I think.
I'm scared..a baby? why can't I just talk myself into it already..ugh