thirty FIVE

I'm really turning this old Monday?!! The numbers 3 5 are so fat and round, there's nothing pretty about them. Why am this old?!..makes me mad..oh well, I guess its better than 75
For being this old, I guess I'm ok with saying that I've done a lot with with my time. I love looking back on my childhood. With my parents and my brother in Arizona, then my other brother, then living in England and getting my sister. Each of those were such an adventure in themselves.
Then came Nebraska...I would've never imagined how much life I would end up living there.
Its crazy that all our childhoods came to an end there. Its crazy that we ended up having our own children and starting our own families. It always seems like you can't grow up fast ENOUGH when you're little, and when you finally do, you wish you could go back in time.
I know I have a lot of life left, but sometimes looking back makes it seem like so much longer than it is. Makes you wonder how you could have survived certain things or wish you could change others. To think of decisions you made that you thought were the best and what could've been if you had chosen differently. Did I fight hard enough, did I really win or lose, did I do my best to learn the most out of every lesson. When we will we really ever learn?.....
The best things in life are the times when you laughed REALLY hard or felt extremely happy. The times when you and the people you love look back and feel those things all over again. The sacred moments you have with your little ones that you know, even as their happening, that you'll never forget.
I can't imagine the future. I hate the idea of being old, I always have. My mom has always told me to stop saying that before I don't get the chance to experience it. The idea I hate the most is of hurting or not being able to get around. I have never taken the luxury of my health for granted, not to say that I take great care of my health-that's hard, but I have always appreciated every thing that I can do. To imagine any part of me not being ok freaks me out.
Then there's the idea of my kids being grown and gone...I know that most people look forward to that, but again..that freaks me out. They're so little right now but every day they grow faster and faster and come closer to living their lives on their own. Which I'm supposed to help prepare them for? People warn you all your life to enjoy your youth, to enjoy your children's youths and you do your best. Regardless, it still goes way too fast and you go from having a newborn baby and still feeling young "enough" at 28 to having a six year old and being 35! Its just too fast, way too fast. Well, I better catch my breath before I miss something,

weak week

You're supposed to believe that someday your kids won't need you, right? Its so different when you're put in the circumstance of "sharing" your kid. I realize that Bellevue is home for her, because it was for me too and is even more rooted for her because of family and where she's spent most of her life so far. Its just hard to be on the other end of everything and be the furthest away and least involved in her day. Its so the opposite of everything I've ever given her. I direly dreaded her visit away from me as it approached and as soon as I stepped away from her, I felt clenched.
I wanted to do my best to enjoy time living alone with my husband since we never really had. I wanted to have a positive attitude and make the most of what was, and I somehow did it most days. But six weeks is such a long time. Now that the time is finally coming close to an end, I keep wondering how much she will have changed. Even in just the times that she's on the phone with me, I hear her old self and little behaviors creeping back up. It sux being on the end that is less desireable because there's so much distraction on her end. It really sux upsetting her at the discussion of her leaving there, because all I'm waiting for is for her to be in my arms again. It sux to know that every time I think about taking her away from what she feels is home, I feel can't help the guilt I feel for hurting her. I hope and pray that the life and choices I've made for me and her give her the best and make up for the sacrifices she has had to make. I hope that at the least, she sees a lot from me and my mom, and that you can hang on tight to eachother -no matter how far or how old you are. I pray she always loves me as much as I love her, and I especially pray that she always feels that she needs me as much as I need her.

jul 31-aug 2

This weekend was Vegas, I'd definitely say my favorite part was the amazing suite. We stayed at the MGM Signature Suites and I LOVED it. I could've lived in the bathroom alone. It was so beautiful and the even had a jetted tub..ahhh. The little tv being in there was just decadent and honestly, I didn't want to come out. (In loving memory:) http://www.signaturemgmgrand.com/Suites/Default.aspx There were super soft white robes that were so comfy but not hot and I kept throwing it on every chance I got...and the bed..omgosh it was sooo soft and fluffy. I loved the food we ate out, of course, I always love eatting out though.
When we were checking out Mitch had one last surprise, he noticed that I loved the robe so much that he had bought me my own to take home. I can't wait til it gets as soft as the waywashed ones.
It was a blast getting out at Mandalay Bay, their clubs are so pretty, especially minus5. It was fun posting all the pics on facebook and getting to step back and look at our fun time in Vegas. Its somewhere I always wanted to go with him, only because it was one simple somewhere he hadn't been. Getting pictures can get kinda of annoying when you're having to tote a camera everywhere, but its so worth it when you get to look back on the experience...fun, fun

tic tic tick

My girls have been gone over two weeks now, which means I still have a ways to go til they come home. Its been really different not having their shows on tv, not picking meals catered to them, having grown up foods more often, being able to go at a moments notice, seeing real movies at the theater, having no routine, just not having much to consider. Most of all I miss their voices, in their playroom, in the yard, singing in the car..just like I knew I would...I miss Lili's hundred hugs a day, and making her happy. I miss having my little helper and Mitch's little mini-me, Ari.
Mitch has loved having this time alone and keeps doing his best to make the most of it, although we keep feeling like we could be doing more. Yesterday I asked him if this time would be something he would like to look forward to every year or would rather have us having a baby (since he still keeps bringing that up). I wondered if he had thought about that since he keeps talking about how great this is...but he still said he'd rather have baby....sigh

I think if I could I be guaranteed it be a boy, maybe that would convince me...I think.
I'm scared..a baby? why can't I just talk myself into it already..ugh

may day!

This week Mitch warned me that he would be going to Michigan for a week, so he was working his butt off to get caught up ahead at work and get his all his stuff together. The week went fast! Afterschool, Wednesday was fun with Lili's daisy scouts, we planted flowers and picked up garbage-so cute. Thursday I took both girls to the salon, I got Lili's hair cut about two inches off and Ari got a touchup.
Today he came home around noon so I decided not to volunteer in Lili's class today to spend a little time with him, good thing I did because he got the call at 2, that he needed to be back on base and ready to go by 3:15. I had made a cake today to use some bananas and I at least sent him off with a piece. It was good, very rich, that it kinda was so moist it was hard to swallow..but good I guess. heehee..and so as he was rushing off, I had to run and get the girls out of school early (and run them home to say bye to him) then take Ari to her orthodonics appt at 3. So far he sent me a picture from his phone in the cargo plane and he called me to let me know he was there..
He's not sure whether he'll be home on Sat. or Sun. next weekend, it will be Mother's day..so..he better be.. ;-)

Visiting Home

Saturday, we arrived and it felt like forever til we found my dad picking us up. Then we got a wonderful enchilada dinner at my mom's house, Adam's family joined us. It was nice to finally meet Mia, she was beautiful. It was great to see all my nieces and nephews and how beautifully they've grown. Isabella has especially wrapped us around her finger with her enormous brown eyes and funny faces.
Sunday, we got out really late, had Village Inn, visited my mom's, then went to Adam's house. He and Kim made us a very nice family dinner, then we dropped Xai back at mom's because he had school the next morning.
Monday, we started the day with a visit to Mom's while the Adam's kids came for the morning. Next, we grabbed Sonic for lunch on our way to visit Kara & Lauren. We had a sweet visit and got to see how much Lauren's grown, Kara's tiny baby bump, and the girls loved hanging out with Maggie. It was exciting to see they're new property and to imagine all the cool things they will do there with their beautiful family-so cool.
Tuesday, was pretty special. I went and got all the kids from Mom's (which took forever), ran to Nobbies to get a balloon bouquet for Ari and all went back to billetting to surprise her with it. Then soonafter we went out to the Pizza Factory to celebrate with Owen and his family. Today he changed his name to Owen Dennis DeLaCruz and went through court to be adopted by Adam. It was pretty neat that we were here for that. Afterwards we spent the day at his house had a bbq dinner and cake. We sang happy DeLaCruz day to him and happy birthday to Ari ;)
Wednesday, we went to Borsheims and later on, Mitch and I got to see Fatima for a late dinner. It was so good to get to Kona, I've missed those avocado eggrolls and Cosmos like you wouldn't believe. It was great to see her and I hated imagining her not being in Omaha the next time we're there. I'm gonna miss her, but I'm excited for all the new ventures she has in store.
Thursday, Lili was gone all day..we went out with Aaron that night. We had M's pub then out to the Prestige lounge, I had a creme brulee martini, yum.
Friday, all the kids were finally home for their puney spring break and had a blast together. They put on a little show, made us lunch and spent the afternoon at Skate City. Kara & Lauren even joined us to visit for a little while. That night Mitch and I went to Shawn's birthday party and he FINALLY got to see everyone, which was very cool.
Saturday, M, I, Mom & Sara went to HuHot for lunch and I had seconds for the first time..mmm Then Mitch & I went to Gretna and visited with Karan & Rich, which was so nice & relaxing.
Lastly, we finished our visit to NE with another family dinner and goodbyes at mom & dad's, then we stayed the night at the Hilton to catch the shuttle to our very early flight. We loved this visit.

We're on our way back to the O! I've been trying to think of anything I need to finish up before we leave. I've got Marley situated, but I need to give him a bath and clip his claws. I've paid the bills, I only bought a few groceries to make meals of the food we have left in the house and even a few travel size toiletries since we'll be hotelling it while we're there.

I am excited to see all my people. I wish I didn't have such a gut on me and that I didn't love to eat so much now..dangit, that will be embarassing..oh well ..see which is why I have the problem now. I miss everybody, especially My DADDY. Liana can hardly stand it anymore..I don't blame her. Its so hard to be patient when your little.

The worst part is packing..I don't wanna, but I'll be getting started here after this. Especially with laundry for kids..its like as soon as you declare it done, there's a whole new load. I only hate packing because you have to pick so many outfits and for so many ladies. Its hard enough for me to pick the one I'm wearing daily!

Anyways..boring ..not much to say..HERE WE COME OMAHA!